Asshole's Fables

A little boy woke up on a bright Sunday morning feeling all happy and healthy. Then he proceeded to learn more about his country and about its glorious past. In the after noon he ate cold and refreshing butterscotch ice-cream.
In the evening he went with his friend to a pub and drank himself senseless. He stared at a hot lady in a white dress who was smoking and drinking coffee in the pub. He did not stare because he had carnal thoughts on his mind, but simply because he was drunk like a dead cockroach and was unable to move his head. She happened to be in the line of his vision.
On his way back he felt very bad about having eaten so much of calories and for having consumed so much of alcohol. It would make his tummy that was flattening of late into a junkyard of fat. So, he came back and asked a fat friend to stand on his foot as he did a hundred and fifty stomach crunches. He then felt a little better. Then, some one called him on his battered cell phone and he spoke for forty minutes. It was someone he hadn’t spoken to in a long time. Some one he missed.
He continued his workout with thirty leg lifts and thirty push ups at the end of which he was competing with his unwashed sweaty socks. Out of concern for his room mate, he bathed.
He slept that night at four, thinking while waiting to fall asleep.
He woke up the next day at seven in the morning and attended eleven straight hours of class. People asked him all day long whether he had returned from Ethiopia. He slept early and the next day he wrote this story.

Moral of the story
One pinacolada, one kamikaze, two fire shooters and a thirty-shot of Romanov and exercise don’t go together. Not if you want to feel like a chewing gum that has been chewed for sixteen hours.
But they make for good timepass writing…

Drink responsibly. Don’t puke in the pub.