Argentina, so f***ing deserved to win! Dammit...now Klinsman get to wave his ass around.
Damn!!!
Friday, June 30, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I wish...
I went to this concert yesterday night by a really famous dude. Carnatic classical. And every single time I listen to good music it happens to me. And it happened again to me yesterday.
Twenty years worth of repent…ok, maybe fifteen years comes out in one nasty shot that renders me incapable of thought and sensible speech. Somewhere, deep down inside, I guess I still nurse that grudge against my dad and fate that I had to move around the country so often, never staying long enough in one place. I always wanted to learn music – more specifically – learn to play an instrument. But, that has eluded me for so long that right now I wish I had the guts to give up everything that I am doing now and learn music. Maybe I’ll suck at it, but I am ready to accept that. I want to give it a shot.
Somehow, it’s been drilled into me that I should study and get a degree. A something to fall back upon – a Plan B. I see my friends who play the guitar, drums, violin, mridangam… and I feel jealous that I cannot play any instrument. However bad it may sound.
It isn’t that I did not try. I learnt vocal for a year when I was in class five and then when I reached the point where I sounded a little better than a toad with laryngitis, my dad moved to Allahabad, where the nearest teacher lived 25 kilometers away. In Bangalore, I learnt violin for a month – the teacher wasn’t interested in teaching and I had been brainwashed to believe that if I did not get into one of the IITs, it was the end of the world as I knew it.
After I joined engineering I learnt to play the mandolin for a month. I even brought one and I still strum some weird tune on it occasionally. I had to give it up because now I had been brainwashed to believe that if I did my engineering course well I could go abroad to study. And my teacher lived 365 kilometers away. So far so good, so what?
I am not doing all that badly in college but somehow the past three years have convinced me that I am not special. Not the kind who would make the front page of the newspaper someday for having invented or discovered something. I am never going to sit for diner with the king of Sweden or make jokes like “Now that you have seen the Raman effect on wine, you want to see the effect of wine on Raman…” No one is going to call me up and ask me to host a mega-quiz for 5000 school kids.
But, maybe if I had learnt to play something, I would have had the chance to go on stage…maybe just once, because I would have sucked anyways…and maybe one single person would have clapped when I finished.
I just wish…
Twenty years worth of repent…ok, maybe fifteen years comes out in one nasty shot that renders me incapable of thought and sensible speech. Somewhere, deep down inside, I guess I still nurse that grudge against my dad and fate that I had to move around the country so often, never staying long enough in one place. I always wanted to learn music – more specifically – learn to play an instrument. But, that has eluded me for so long that right now I wish I had the guts to give up everything that I am doing now and learn music. Maybe I’ll suck at it, but I am ready to accept that. I want to give it a shot.
Somehow, it’s been drilled into me that I should study and get a degree. A something to fall back upon – a Plan B. I see my friends who play the guitar, drums, violin, mridangam… and I feel jealous that I cannot play any instrument. However bad it may sound.
It isn’t that I did not try. I learnt vocal for a year when I was in class five and then when I reached the point where I sounded a little better than a toad with laryngitis, my dad moved to Allahabad, where the nearest teacher lived 25 kilometers away. In Bangalore, I learnt violin for a month – the teacher wasn’t interested in teaching and I had been brainwashed to believe that if I did not get into one of the IITs, it was the end of the world as I knew it.
After I joined engineering I learnt to play the mandolin for a month. I even brought one and I still strum some weird tune on it occasionally. I had to give it up because now I had been brainwashed to believe that if I did my engineering course well I could go abroad to study. And my teacher lived 365 kilometers away. So far so good, so what?
I am not doing all that badly in college but somehow the past three years have convinced me that I am not special. Not the kind who would make the front page of the newspaper someday for having invented or discovered something. I am never going to sit for diner with the king of Sweden or make jokes like “Now that you have seen the Raman effect on wine, you want to see the effect of wine on Raman…” No one is going to call me up and ask me to host a mega-quiz for 5000 school kids.
But, maybe if I had learnt to play something, I would have had the chance to go on stage…maybe just once, because I would have sucked anyways…and maybe one single person would have clapped when I finished.
I just wish…
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