Saturday, April 07, 2007

Namastey London aka Why Katrina Kaif is so hot!

Ascribe it to the impending double disaster of a very expensive exam and the deadline for presenting my major(ly) (screwed) project or my capricious nature, but I ended up watching a fairly cuppax print of the movie that find a mention in the title. (In case you thought "Why Katrina Kaif is so hot!" is the name of a movie, then I suggest you go get your head examined. That, dear reader, is not something as inane as a title - it is a fact!)



So, I got my bum down to watching the movie. It did take a lot of effort. The last time around  when I was conned into watching a movie, with a fancy title that read 'Just Married'. Now, given the highly lecherous mind that I have, I figured that it would have a lot of...um..well...ahem...you know - steamy stuff that made the camera lens mist over. Sadly, it turned out to be a Bollywood flick that starred Fardeen Khan (who is cho chweeet according to several women acquaintances of mine and who is absolutely revolting according to me) and Esha Deol (who effectively has the face of an IFBB Pro - Ms. Olympia with a body that is bloody bloody hot). The two hours that I spent in the theater just to vasool the sixty bucks the ticket cost was among the worst two hours of my life - second only to the two hours that I spent watching Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. If you are wondering, I slept through the remainder of the movie.



Coming back after that little digression, Namastey London is not really a bad movie. It is plain trash. It is a storyline that we have all seen so many times in setting other than London that it is almost a chance to sit and play a guessing game - predicting what will happen next (it should be, at any rate, more profitable than any guessing related to the ICC World Cup). If you came around looking for something emotionally evocative or addressed a social issue, then you came to the wrong movie. Please walk down to the next screen where they are screening 'Pursuit of Happyness'. Awesome movie, btw!



NRI girl born-and-brought-up in London has trouble adjusting to the fact that her parents are not comfortable with her attitude and multitude of boy-friends. Come to India on a trip and enter home-grown Funjanbi (no kidding! really...) who get hitched to her. She comes back to London and claims that they aren't married under British laws. Proceeds to marry a Brit with the most fantastic name of Charlie Brown. Of course, our Funjabi can't speak the Queen's language and proceeds to save India's glory with a very awesome speech peppered with facts and figures from the latest edition of the Manorama Yearbook. Oh, he also plays rugby and strips Brit arse in the process.



He then walks her down to the altar for the vows with Charlie boy, smiles and turns around and walks away. But, wait...that is not the happy ending that we all were waiting for. Predictably, he turns around yet again, walks back to the altar and in chaste...wait for it...English(!!!!) congratulates the couple and all that. She fumbles her vows and runs after him. Cut back to Funjab (now this, I made up) where they are happily touring the countryside on his khatara motorcycle. Finish.



Painful, but Katrina makes it all bearable. She speaks English with a very very sexy Brit accent and Hindi with an accent that is forgivable because she is so so hot. Akshay Kumar is out of his element and there is just this brief shot that is set way in the future when they are all old where for a moment he exudes the power and charm reminiscent of Nicholas Cage. Other than that Rishi Kapoor is as fat as he can get and owns a Spykar jeans outlet. If you haven't been to London you will get a decent tour of the city minus the names. Just the sights.



All in all avoidable, unless of course it is three in the wee hours of the morning and you are cursing your fate that there are no pretty women in your college.











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8 comments:

Shankar said...

finally something worthy enough to be called a post

Safari Al said...

I will ignore the intended slander.
Good to see you here dude.

cupped crusader said...

bollywood=crap.

Safari Al said...

|in a 'pollyanish' tone|
"I think we should give them credit for doing a decent job of showing London and Akshay Kumar meddling around with a cow's udders. It was good."

politically correct verbose-overdose that fails to stick
"Actually...the propensity to judge this as an abberation on celluloid does not rest with us. We must put it to vote and have everyone's opinion, even though in the end my word goes"




me "Yeah right...! Fuck off assholes!"


at CC, btw, B-T-OOO-TA

cupped crusader said...

bt oota can kiss my prejudiced ass...

Safari Al said...

sigh...next time fix jakra with somebody. that should produce some blogworthy stuff...

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